comedy

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life ( Monty Python )

[] Some things in life are bad they can really make you mad other things just make you swear and curse when you're chewing on large gristle don't grumble - give a whistle and whistles help things turn out for the best And always look …

Baby ( Stephen Lynch )

[] My lady gives birth today I run to her room right away She smiles with glee, then hands her to me I look at my newborn and say Damn thats an ugly baby Damn thats an ugly ass baby I'm feeling quite concerned, my …

Biff's Question Song ( Tom Wilson )

[] When I'm flying in a plane, or I'm on the street there's a lot of friendly people that I like to meet. They shake my hand but never ask me my name, and they start asking questions that are always the same, hey... Hey! …

Christmas in Heaven ( Monty Python )

It's Christmas in Heaven, All the children sing, It's Christmas in Heaven, Hark hark those church bells ring. It's Christmas in Heaven, The snow falls from the sky, But it's nice and warm and everyone Looks smart and wears a tie. It's Christmas in Heaven, …

Cocktails For Two ( Spike Jones, City Slickers )

In some secluded rendezvous That overlooks the avenue With someone sharing a delightful chat Of this and that and cocktails for two. As we enjoy a cigarette To some exquisite chansonette Two hands are sure to slyly meet beneath A sur-vi-ette with cocktails for two. …

Fire Water Burn ( Bloodhound gang )

The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire, The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire, The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire, We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn, Burn motherfucker burn. Hello, my name is Jimmy Pop …

Fuck her gently ( Tenacious D )

You don't always have to fuck her hard, In Fact sometimes that's not right ... to do. Sometimes you gotta make some love And fuckin give her some smooches too Sometimes you got to squeeze Sometimes you got to say please Sometimes you got to …

Galaxy song ( Eric Idle )

Just re- member that you're standing on a planet that's evolving revolving at nine-hundred miles an hour and orbiting at nineteen miles a second, so it's reckoned, a sun that is the source of all our power. Now the sun and you and me, and …

Grow old with you ( Adam Sandler )

I wanna make you smile Whenever you're sad Carry you around When your arthritis is bad All I wanna do is Grow old with you. I'll get you medicine When your tummy aches Build you a fire When the furnace breaks It could be so …

Halloween ( Stephen Lynch )

Thinking of all the cool creatures That I will meet, tonight Ghosts and Goblins and Witches Roaming the streets, in moonlight Bowls of candy and goodies Delicious and waiting in store Sounds of cute little footsteps As they approach my front door Letting the childeren …

I Just Had Sex ( Lonely Island )

Sometimes (ohhhhh) Something beautiful happens in this world (Akon) You don't know how to express yourself so (And Lonely Island) You just gotta sing I just had sex and it felt so good (felt so good) A woman let me put my penus inside her. …

I Like Chinese ( Monty Python )

I like Chinese, I like Chinese, They only come up to your knees, Yet they're always friendly, and they're ready to please. I like Chinese, I like Chinese, There's nine hundred million of them in the world today, You'd better learn to like them, that's …

It's Hard to Be Humble ( Mac Davis )

Oh Lord it's hard to be humble when you're perfect in every way I can't wait to look in the mirror Cause I get better looking each day To know me is to love me I must be a hell of a man Oh Lord …

Karate ( Tenacious D )

With karate I'll kick your ass From Here to Tienomen Square Oh Yeah, motherfucker Im gonna kick your fucking deriair yeah-e-yeah You broke the rules, now I'll pull out your pubic hair You Motherfucker You Motherfucker Kyle Betrayed me, then he lied, tried to hide …

Kielbasa ( Tenacious D )

I love ya baby, but all I can think about is... Kielbasa sausage, Your butt cheeks is warm. I check my dipstick, you need lubrication honey My Kielbasa sausage has just got to perform, now get it on! I see you walking, but all i …

Master Exploder ( Tenacious D )

[] Aaaaaa, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-AAAAA YEAH ! I do not need ( he does not need ) a microphone (a microphone) My voice is fuckin, (fuckin) [] Powerful!! [] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YEAH ! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Sorry [] I did not mean ( he did not mean) to …

May The Bird Of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose ( Little Jimmy Dickens )

One fine day as I was walking down the street Spied a beggar man with rags upon his feet Took a penny from my pocket In his tin cup I did drop it I heard him say as I made my retreat May the bird …

Mystery ( Hugh Laurie )

Mystery All my life has been a mystery You and I were never ever meant to be That's why I call my love for you a mystery Different country You and I have always lived in a different country And I know that airline tickets …

Poisoning Pigeons In The Park ( Tom Lehrer )

Spring is here, a-suh-puh-ring is here. Life is skittles and life is beer. I think the loveliest time of the year is the spring. (I do) Dont you? Course you do. But theres one thing that makes spring complete for me, And makes every Sunday …

Put Another Log On The Fire ( Tompall Glaser )

Put another log on the fire Cook me up some bacon and some beans And go out to the car and change the tire Wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans Come on baby you can fill my pipe and then go fetch …

Show Them To Me ( Rodney Carrington )

Well it seems to me that this whole worlds gone crazy There's too much hate and killin going on But when I see the bare chest of a woman My worries and my problems are all gone No one thinks of fighting, when they see …

Somebody kill me ( Adam Sandler )

You don't know how much I need you While you're near me I don't feel blue And when we kissed I know you need me too I can't believe I found a love that's so pure and true But it all was BULLSHIT It was …

Superhero ( Stephen Lynch )

If I could be a superhero I would be awesome man I'd fly around the world fighting crime According to my awesome plan And if I saw criminals trying to lie Hurting other people and making them cry I'd haul them off to jail in …

Talk to me ( Stephen Lynch )

I came down to the breakfast table, felt like I could cry I tried so hard but wasn't able to look you in the eye For I am feeling so much shame, yes I have brought disgrace Can tell I've soiled my good name by …

The Chimney Song ( Bob Rivers )

There's something stuck up in the chimney And I don't know what it is But it's been there all night long Well I waited up for Santa all Christmas night But he never came and it don't seem right And there's something in the chimney …

Tribute ( Tenacious D )

This is the greatest and best song in the world...Tribute. Long time ago me and my brother Kyle here, We was hitchhikin' down a long and lonesome road. All of a sudden, there shined a shiny demon... In the middle of the road. And he …

Witch Doctor ( David Seville )

I told the witch doctor I was in love with you. I told the witch doctor you didn't love me, too. And then the witch doctor, he told me what to do. He said that... Ooo eee, ooo ah ah, ting tang, walla walla, bing …